Opinion: Why we should stop talking about children as a financial risk

Commentator Mirjam Mõttus argues that modern discourse has reduced parenthood to a financial burden and psychological strain. She contends this framing is historically unprecedented and treats children as projects rather than a natural part of life.

In a daily commentary for Vikerraadio, Estonian commentator Mirjam Mõttus raises an uncomfortable question: when did we start treating children as a financial liability?

The discourse around having and raising children has shifted dramatically in recent decades. Today, conversations about parenthood are increasingly dominated by cost-benefit analyses — how much a child will cost over 18 years, what career opportunities a parent must sacrifice, and what psychological toll child-rearing takes on adults. Mõttus argues this framing is not only new, but deeply troubling.

A historically unprecedented shift

Throughout most of human history, children were understood as a natural continuation of life — not as a calculated investment or a risky project to be carefully weighed before undertaking. The idea that one should perform a thorough financial and psychological risk assessment before having a child would have been foreign to virtually every previous generation.

Yet today, that is precisely how the topic is often discussed. Media articles, social media posts, and even public policy debates routinely frame parenthood in the language of economics and personal burden. Mõttus suggests this shift in language reflects — and reinforces — a broader cultural change in how society values children and family life.

Children are not a project

The core of Mõttus's argument is that language shapes reality. When children are spoken of as financial risks or as obstacles to personal fulfilment, it gradually erodes the cultural and emotional foundation that has historically made family life meaningful. A child, she argues, is not a project with deliverables and risk factors — it is a human being and a living link to the future.

This commentary arrives in a context where Estonia, like many European countries, is grappling with declining birth rates and an ageing population. Whether changing the way we talk about children can meaningfully shift these trends remains an open question — but Mõttus makes a compelling case that the conversation itself matters.